This is a weird question, isn’t it? All of us have lied at least once in our lifetime…be it for good or bad. I have always heard that ‘if we lie for a good cause, then it cannot be considered as a lie’. Hmmm…well may be.
I have lied many times in my life. Sometimes to save myself, sometimes to get something or sometimes out of anger. But I haven’t seen a person (until 2 years back) whose entire life is based on lies.
I am writing this post to share how a lie can overtake a life completely. Have we ever realized what pushes a person to lie so much that the lies become their life? Psychologists call these people Compulsive or Psychopathic liars. They tell lies even when they don’t feel they have to. According to an article in ‘The Hope Line’, Lying is saying something with the intent of creating a false belief or impression. It’s an attempt to get someone to believe something that is not true. They have also quoted that there are different kinds of lies, as well as different degrees of lying.
Why do we lie? Tad Williams says that “We tell lies when we are afraid… afraid of what we don’t know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing that we fear grows stronger.” This is so very true. Someone might lie to get anything they desire—sex, money, status, power, love, etc. But many times, a person will lie because of pride or fear. They use it for nothing more than a tool to create a favorable image of themselves. This leads to exaggeration, which is again a form of lying. This is sometimes done by simply creating a fascinating, even if completely false, story.
I have met this lovely girl while working in one of my former companies. She is intelligent, preety, smart and an Ardent Liar. Ouch! I know it’s a very strong word to be used on any one. But that’s the truth. She has built her whole life around lies, starting from the time she was born. During our first few conversation, she gave me a complete movie background of her life and trust me I believed her completely. She was so straight on face and convincing that I could have never imagined that she has been lying to me about everything in her life. Let me share some examples: here you go…
1st, She told me that she was the adopted kid and that her family is a Royal one. She was home schooled as her father didn’t want her to mix p other kids (who were not royal) and so she never had friends. Due to this, it was never easy for her to make friends. Reality!! She has always been an introvert and so the ‘no friends concept’. 2nd, She was molested often by her cousins which she had hidden from her family due to which she could never trust anyone. Reality!! It’s the inferiority complex which stops her from interacting with people who were better than her. 3rd, She has been living with her partner with whom she was engaged (another lie to show how broad minded her parents were to let her live with her fiance before marriage), DUH!! Reality, she has a register marriage with him so it was cool to live with him. 4th, Her brother have worked for Microsoft (Germany) and currently he had resigned and returned back to Assam, India because he wants to do something for the state he lives in. Reality!! He had never gone out of his home town till 2 years ago. 5th, She has gone with her family for vacations to Europe and other countries. Reality!! she had never gone out of India. 6th, Guys fall head over heels for her and her fiance doesn’t have any problem. Infact, He supports because he has inferiority complex and he feels that she deserves better than him. Reality!! He is a very sweet, smart, intelligent and a good looking guy. She tries to cover her inferiority complex by putting her partner down in from of others. In fact she never takes her partner/husband to any gatherings because she fears that people would start comparing both of them and might consider him better than her. Gosh, who does that? it showed that she could go to any level.
On top of all, she forgets what she tells everyone. This is another characteristics of a liar, no matter how smart they are, they will tend to forget what they tell others. The number of lies that she had told me and others doesn’t end here. The list goes on and on, and if I continue to write about it, there will be no end to it.
We became close friends and would share everything under the sun. But with every passing time, I had realized that her habit has become her addiction now. Being a friend I wanted to help her out. But I am seriously scared. She is leading that extreme level of false life and if I confront her, she will go into depression and might harm herself. She suffers from serious inferiority complex, due to which if I say anything good that I have done or experienced, she takes it as a competition and builds up a new story on top of that. She wants to prove that her life is perfect and beautiful. Just like a fairy tale. Such people are so insecure that to make themselves look great, they point out mistakes in others. They love showing others as inferior. .
In our peculiar relationship, loyalty was always one sided, that’s from me. I never wanted to leave her but her jealousy, inferiority complex and crave to put up a superior life have actually pushed her away from me. I was really scared for her. I knew that if i would lose my cool, i would end up showing her her true self and that might lead to a dangerous outcome – she harming herself to prove herself right. Sad, but true.
By being with her, I understood that people lie because they can get away with it, because it works for them. Lying is such an addiction that it often drives you to continue your deceptions. Liars often create more and more lies to cover their previous lies. Truth becomes a feared enemy of the liar. It’s a sick and tragic cycle that doesn’t ever have a happy ending…by Linda.
The best thing to do is to tell the truth rather than lying your way back through any situation…
Remember, every individual is different and is the best version of oneself. So love yourself.
When in doubt, listen to these songs – Love Yourself