What is this excitement of beginning a new life?
Just a few months back I wasn’t sure about getting married at all.
I have known this person only for a year now. We were FRIENDS in fact MORE than friends, having a good time while not being very clear about what to expect from our relationship. We were more like ‘friends with benefits’. But now, we are ENGAGED to be married.
We both believe in living at the moment and did not really care much about what will happen next. We were happy spending time with each other but somewhere I guess, we were also consciously or unconsciously trying to figure out each-other. My subconscious mind was constantly telling me that he is the one but consciously I didn’t want to believe it. That’s human nature, isn’t it? Even if we have the best, we still tend to ignore it and look out for just betters. :p And I did the same thing.
When I think about it now, I wonder why was I so hesitant to take the next step? What was I not sure about? We shared the same interest, we enjoyed each others company, we were also similar on emotional front…he values relationships just like me, he is very kind and loving, we both cared for our families and most importantly, we respect and love each other. It was so obvious. I could actually see all of these and still was in denial that something was not matching up. Everything was right in front of me but I did not have the courage to accept it unlike him. He was very clear that he wanted to be with me for the rest of his life.
I was over assuming things. Sometimes I would think that there is cultural differences, which might be a barrier, than other time I would think that that my parents would not be so happy about this match. So why to get into something which is not meant to be? I was acting weird and funny. I had never in my life cared about cultural or religious differences and neither did my parents. My parents have always been very supportive, open minded and have never said no to any of my decisions. So why will they not support me this time?
When my parents planned to visit me here in Bangalore, my partner decided to greet them at the airport with me (i wasn’t very sure about that). He came with me to receive my parents, started conversation with my dad about the beautiful Bangalore city, politics, sports and everything else under the sun. My parents immediately developed a liking for him for his intelligence and down to earth nature.They were further convinced when he stood by us during our tough time of my mom’s illness and treatment. Emotions always play a major role in such situations 😛 and we Indian’s are known for it :). I still remember, how he was there for them all the time infact more than me because I had to meet certain professional deadlines and I was not able to be with my parents all the time. But he gave me the space to finish my commitments and compromised on his to take care of them. I realized how much I loved him and how lucky I felt that day to have him in my life.
At times life throws such cards that your entire life is turned around. I knew my life has changed and changed for good. The first question came from my mom, ‘why not him’? I had no answer. Of course why not him?
So finally we are ENGAGED now and this is a very beautiful feeling. And now I would like to answer my own question: What is this excitement of beginning a new life? The excitement is the feeling of being with you all my life!
Loads of love to you hon